The resilience of our young people

As Scottish pupils return to school, we know that there will be a range of feelings among pupils with dyslexia and their parents. We’ve heard happy stories, those of pupils who did not do well in prelims but did well in actual exams. But we have also heard of the worry and pressure that children and parents feel. We’ve heard from parents who contacted our Helpline to say they feel they’ve let their child down.

Heading into a new school year can be daunting as parents juggle the different roles required. Parents want to be supporting and encouraging and help with organisation and rationalising worries. But a lot of the time this feels like nagging, badgering or criticising their children. Most just want their children feel good about themselves, to not feel ‘less than’. Children talk about wanting to just feel ‘like everyone else’.

It can be heartbreaking as a parent sending your child every day into an environment where their effort is not reflected in their academic success and where they constantly compare themselves with the ease with which their friends take to academic study. But academic success is only one marker of success.

Those who get the ‘best’ results aren’t necessarily the ones who put in the most effort. Not everyone knows how much our pupils with dyslexia have fought back from perceived ‘failure’, embarrassment, shame, or being told they ‘could do better’. Those who have put in so many extra hours with seemingly no reward. Those who worry about being left behind.

Thinking about the positive

What is not talked about enough are the skills that children with dyslexia have developed from going through these experiences – skills that will set them up for life. It takes persistence and courage to turn up to exams where extra support once again singles you out from your friends, or to step into a new academic year with a fresh set of daunting challenges ahead. To self-advocate requires diplomacy and tact, to maintain friendships when you become separated into different academic streams requires adept social skills and emotional intelligence. To accept support when those around you have no need builds resilience. In the moments of worry or doubt, parents can focus on these strengths and remind their children what they overcome on a daily basis and that they should feel proud of every achievement.

These are all skills that will carry them well in life as well as in the workplace. We should acknowledge and normalise the feelings that children have and encourage a celebration of what they have achieved and what they will achieve in the future.

Many of these children and young people will grow up to be adults who have an innate understanding of the fact that we don’t all think the same. That we need to adapt, empathise and understand each other’s needs in order to thrive, be productive, efficient, happy and successful. What more would you want in your friends or in your workplace?