The unusual case of publishing a book

Once upon a time, a girl named Wilma Mayhem was chatting with her friend, Princess Twinkle Toes. Wilma boldly told the Princess that one day she was going to publish a book. The Princess laughed and told Wilma she believed she would achieve this goal one day.

Wilma thought it was a foolish thing to say, with thoughts running through her head like, “I cannot possibly draft a book. I am not creative enough, and I struggle to write a small assignment of 2000 words. This will never happen. Bury the idea as another one of your fanciful ideas and do not bring up the subject again.”

Then, of course, the pandemic arrived on the doorstep. What should Wilma do? Well, her partner, Mr. G, had talked her into blogging, and she joined Iain McKinnon’s writing classes to improve her style. While blogging, she began her involvement in the world of assistive technology. Wilma also decided to join the Open University. What better thing to blog about than her struggles with learning to study and use of assistive technology to help her on her journey?

While going into her second year of studies, an international artist contacted Wilma and wanted to chat. It was a strange time with everyone being stuck at home, so Wilma was polite and started chatting with this person. Then the same person contacted her on another social media platform! Wilma should have blocked the person she was talking to, as they were a scammer! Curious, Wilma decided to look into the differences between the people she was talking with online.

As a student Criminologist, she had known from her first year that tattoos were important to individuals, and that everyone had a story to tell about their tattoos. She set about testing this as one of her theories by asking them to explain their tattoos. This was when she found out that the person she was talking with was false; they would say, “I love tattoos,” or “I will tell you later.” Wilma kept up her social science experiments. She copied and pasted them from Google Chat, put Dragon on, and dictated the conversations from her phone and WhatsApp and Telegram into Word documents. She decided to turn them into short funny stories and publish them in a book.

Everyone had said the best way forward was to self-publish. Wilma decided to investigate this and find out the costs. She tried getting grants, with no luck. After asking for some advice, Wilma started a crowdfunder to raise the cash to go forward. Bolboa had approached Wilma with a good package; however, it was expensive. They kept phoning her with the hard sale, but she still could not afford it. She also tried getting sponsorship from assistive technology companies she loved promoting; the pigeon is lost with the answer!

Wilma settled with going for Amazon self-publishing, which she could afford. She uploaded her document and was blown away by the lovely comments that came back from the team she was working alongside. Then the dyslexic issues came into play, such as proofreading; this or that was incorrect and needed sorting, which needed money. As Wilma did not have any, she asked for some advice, and ChatGPT came to the rescue.

Then there were multiple platforms to advertise your book on across the world, marketing your book across social media, setting up accounts to track how well it is selling and people getting in touch saying they will advertise on your behalf for a cost. Eventually, Wilma does everything, and the book is on sale on Amazon. People saying “What an amazing achievement.” Exhausted, she slumps over the computer thinking, “I hope I have set everything up properly.” Then Amazon publishing, friends, and family get in touch saying, “Now when are you starting the sequel?” OH CRIKEY!